oh my god I'm so mad. The boss at the kindergarten pulled me aside when I came in this morning, and told me I'm now teaching a different class. It's K2 instead of K1, and it's ESL instead of Pre-E, and I'm not allowed to say goodbye to the kids in my old class. My K1 (three-year-olds) apparently cried all day with the sub, because no one told them (or me) I wouldn't be there, and I won't get to see my first-graders this afternoon, so I can't even hug them, and I'm not coming back here after today. This sort of lateral transfer is probably due to me being a pretty good teacher, the gossip farm informs me, but this feels like a punishment. Mostly because of the way it was decided, and the way they told me. Like, "oh hi, from this moment onwards nothing you've done or learned means anything. Have fun with this completely different job! And have fun learning these new kids' names. "
The class that I'm now teaching has had four teachers in five weeks, due to various staffing bullshit and a lot of teachers quitting. And I am not at all mystified as to why they quit, but the school knows I won't quit because they know I love the kids and would never do that but I spent half the morning in tears, missing my toddlers and worrying about them and feeling so, so disoriented and guilty. It's true that I shouldn't have gotten emotionally attached to the kids in the first place, I knew that was a vulnerability, but I honestly thought that being a good teacher would result in stability for me and my kids, and it is kind of the opposite. And apparently I still have to do extra hours of grading. I've flat-out told my (now former) Boss #2 that I don't work for free, so we'll see how that goes I guess... She's going to try to argue with the higher-ups and Boss #1 (at kindergarten) to give me a couple hours overtime next week to grade exams, rather than forcing me to do it at home.